Good Intentions Backfire: Lessons from my Email Mishap
Creating simplicity is complex. And self-esteem is built by doing hard things.
How you see the world determines who you become - outlook shapes outcomes. I share business and life lessons that encourage a winner’s mindset.
Here are this weeks insights:
Creating Simplicity is Complex. Creating Complexity is Easy.
Self-Esteem is Built by Doing Hard Things
Good Intentions Backfire: Lessons from my Email Mishap
You can access previous editions of my weekly emails here. Let’s begin!
(1) Creating Simplicity is Complex. Creating Complexity is Easy.
Simple - stands alone. It can be very hard to make something simple. But it is usually a better choice because It is not dependent on other things. It is easier to maintain. It is simpler.
Complex - is bound to other things. It can be very easy to make something simple complex. Be aware of complexity.
Summary
Aim for doing the simpler things even if it is harder. Be direct with the outcome you need. That'll keep things simple. And be very wary of dependencies.
Source: Derek Sivers on The Tim Ferriss Show
(2) Self-Esteem is Built by Doing Hard Things
From the time that we wake up till the time that we shut our eyes, we are talking to ourselves. It’s a constant conversation with a zillion thoughts running inside our skull.
“I have to finish this assignment by noon.”
“How can I make this sale happen.”
“The deadline to finalize the questions for the podcast is nearing.”
“I got to spend more time with the kids.”
“Where should I invest?”
“How should I respond to this man who was mean to me?”
…. and on and on and on.
It is a constant stream of consciousness that never breaks. Even when you shut your eyes to go into REM sleep, your mind is cementing important memories, clearing out the unimportant ones and looking for answers to questions that remain unsolved.
In this whole process of talking to ourselves, we judge ourselves. We create an image of what we are capable of. Google’s definition of Self-esteem is “confidence in one's own worth or abilities.” But the best definition I found was in the book How Will You Measure Your Life. It said:
Self-esteem is the sense that “I’m not afraid to confront this problem and I think I can solve it”. It comes from achieving something important when it’s hard to do.
I remembered this definition every morning I went to the gym this week. I made it a point to run 5 km in 30 minutes no matter how I felt. It was not easy. I had to push myself beyond my comfort zone. And every time I finished the run, drenched in sweat, I looked at myself in the mirror and said “Well done Harsh. You turned up and did something hard. Again!”
My self-esteem, went up a step, every time I turned up. I proved to myself that I can consistently do hard things even when they are uncomfortable. I felt good about myself. I felt stronger. Healthier. More mentally alert.
And this feeling then spills over to other areas of my life. The conversation inside my skull then turns to:
“Harsh, you can exceed your sales targets. Let’s do the next hard thing.”
“Harsh, you can make the business a success. Let’s do the next hard iteration.”
“Harsh, you can meet your financial goals. Just be patient.”
Summary
Self-esteem comes from achieving something important to you that is hard for you to do. It is you proving to yourself that you can do it! When you successfully turn up and make things happen that were just thoughts in your mind, you collect proof. This proof raises your confidence, and hence your self-esteem.
The image you have of yourself is critical to success in life. A positive self-esteem backed by proof makes you feel good about yourself. It makes you happy and optimistic.
The opposite is also true. If you have low self-esteem, you probably don’t believe you can achieve much. So you end up being introverted, stick to what you know, and don’t ever get out of your comfort zone.
Do something hard that is important to you everyday. Build that self-esteem muscle. It will accumulate into confidence that will push you to bring those thoughts in your skull into reality.
(3) Good Intentions Backfire: Lessons from my Email Mishap
An email I sent internally last week got me into trouble. It also portrayed me in poor light. It was a perfect example of good intentions having unintended consequences.
There are two lessons I learnt from this experience which I am sharing with you so that you can avoid the same mistakes.
But let me first give you some context:
What had happened was that we hadn't turned up for a client call. The client rightfully emailed us stating that we had wasted his time, and that this was a poor start to a relationship. I was sitting on a plane on the runway when my team reached out telling me what had happened. I immediately did three things:
I asked my colleague to find out why it happened and reach out to the client to apologize and fix another time with him.
I sent an email to the client apologizing, acknowledging that it shouldn't have happened, and telling him that we will schedule a call based on his calendar.
Two teams are involved in this process. I asked the colleague in my team which address to send an email to so that (1) I could make team #2 aware of what had happened, and (2) someone from their team could fix a time with the client.
It all sounds reasonable right? Well as I looked back on the incident, here are the mistakes I made:
MISTAKE #1
I was doing all this in a rush. I knew I would lose internet any second and wouldn't be able to help for the next 4 hours. My last email ended up going to 50 people and sounded like I was pointing fingers. Just as the plane took to the air I got an email back from a senior executive stating that the tone of my email was inappropriate and there was no reason to involve the whole team.
(OH NO!!! 😨 THAT WAS NOT MY INTENTION!)
I couldn't respond for the next four hours so I sat through that flight in an anxious state. When I landed I had another email from another senior executive pointing to the tone of my email. (NOT GOOD!)
I set the record straight by explaining the intent of my email - I wanted someone from their team to look after the client on priority. I also clarified that my intent was not to find anyone wrong but to get to the cause and get to an immediate solution.
What is the lesson learnt?
Don't do things in a rush because you are bound to make mistakes. When I re-read what I wrote, I realized my mistake. The tone was off! A one-line email asking “what happened?” would have been a more appropriate and simpler way of getting the result I desired.
MISTAKE #2
I didn't let the team solve the problem without me. A business has so many moving parts. There is always something or the other going wrong. I cannot possibly get involved and fix every issue which crops up. I should have let my team coordinate a solution with team number two without getting involved. They would have reached out to the client and fixed it, as they did. In fact my involvement made a mountain out of a molehill. How unnecessary!
What is the lesson here?
Don't get involved in every fire which burns. Give your team the opportunity to grow.
Summary
Good intentions can have unintended consequences. Did what you wanted to do match what actually happened?
Don't do things in a rush. If you do, you just may make an issue out of a non-issue, as I did!
Trust the capabilities of your team. They can do the job if you let them. Don't make yourself a hurdle that they have to cross.
Business is all about teamwork. You can't do it alone and shouldn't even want to. When I finally got on a call with the senior executive who told me that the tone of my email was inappropriate, I asked her for advice. She said "make friends." I'll work to make sure that me and my team are in good terms with all other teams.
Harsh Batra (LinkedIn)
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